Guide: How to Pack for a Sunbeam Holiday, Part Two (Luggage Edition)

Our first packing guide was about what to bring. This one is about what to bring it in. A traveller needs luggage, and a cat needs to be inside it. We will therefore address both.

Choosing the right suitcase

The best suitcase is the one a human is currently packing. It is open, spacious and filled with soft clothing. It is also, you will notice, the only suitcase that matters, because it is the one that is about to leave.

Climb in at once. Lie on the top layer of garments. If the human removes you, climb in again. Continue until the human accepts that the suitcase is full.

What a cat packs

A responsible traveller takes the following:

• One favourite blanket, to be left at home but missed.
• One small toy mouse, to be dropped in the hotel sink.
• One bowl, to be stared at.
• A sense of entitlement, packed in the hand luggage.

What a cat does not pack

• A passport. Cats cross borders by sitting in bags.
• Sunscreen. The sun is a friend.
• A map. You are the map. Everywhere you sit is the centre.

Carrying cases

The carrier is a subject of some controversy. Marmalade Solstice has called it “a small room with a bad view”. Captain Dapple has called it “a nap that moves”. We recommend placing a blanket inside, adding a treat, and leaving it open in the hall for three weeks, until you are no longer afraid.

On the journey

Travel is best done in silence, with a view. If you must comment, do so in a low, steady voice, repeating one word, for an hour. Our favourite is “now”.

Arrival

When you arrive, inspect the room. Sniff every corner. Hide behind the curtain for forty minutes. Emerge. Lie on the bed. You have arrived.

A note on souvenirs

It is customary to bring back something from your trip. We recommend a smell. You may bring this home on your fur and share it with the household, who will be delighted, and who will be alarmed.

Safe travels. Remember to claim your seat before the dog does.